I stopped in the gas station tonight to buy cigarettes and cookies (the cure for all emotional ills).
The shorts I was wearing were maybe a leeetle short for my build…sue me, it’s been insanely hot. Even hiding in the house all day and only showing my face after sunset, it’s hot.
Been incredibly tired, I think it’s the heat.
Anyhow, I noticed a couple of guys staring at my tuchus. I thought all those squats and lunges were finally starting to pay off…
Until I got home and realized there was a HUGE rip in the back of my shorts. Like big enough that the whole back pocket area was blowin’ in the wind. Sigh. So my huge pasty butt was saying ‘hi’ to the world!
At least I was wearing clean underwear.
Blood and Whine 
Stuff like that happens all the time in the warehouse at our work. Just yesterday, Eric had a split in his pants lugging a 50″ to a customer’s car. He got a cut on his index finger stuffing it in the trunk which I stitched up in the break room. Then we spent a magical afternoon together.
Anyhow, I see you have a hankering for cookies. I just made these lovely blood macaroons with the help of Eric (he just doesn’t know it yet)
Cherry Macaroons
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon almond extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup blood drained (Type O)
2 cups shredded coconut
1 cup chopped nuts
Heat oven to 350 degrees F.
Cream butter and shortening together. Gradually add sugar and mix well. Add eggs and almond extract and beat well. Blend in flour, baking powder and salt. Stir in blood, coconut and nuts. Drop by rounded teaspoon onto lightly greased baking sheets. Bake 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned.
Oooh, those sound good.
Thanks, Josh – it’s a little better knowing that. At least he KNEW though, right?
I have no idea how long I was walking around like that!